


Miracles

by spangelbanger



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blasphemy, Bottom Sam, Bunker Sex, First Time, M/M, holy oil as lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spangelbanger/pseuds/spangelbanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Cas have spent way too much time alone together.  They care about each other way too much. Obviously the next step is dating, and sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was good to have a place to come back to. Sam hadn't realized how glad he was to be home until he dropped his bags on his own unmade bed and saw Cas still sitting on the chair beside it. He smiled to see him, “Hey Cas.”

  
The angel, what was left of him anyways was wrapped up in a blanket despite it not being very cold in the room. The tv was turned down low. Cas smiled up at him slightly, “how was the hunt?”

  
Sam shrugged, “we survived.”

  
A sardonic smile twisted the angel's lips, “always a miracle.”

  
“Are you okay?” Sam asked noticing the dark circles under his eyes had gotten darker. He looked exhausted in a way an angel never should. Cas nodded turning back to the tv.  
Sam turned off the tv and leaned back against the dresser facing the angel his back to the blackened screen. “When was the last time you left this room?”

  
Cas shrugged, “I don't need anything outside.”

  
“Maybe not,” Sam said softly, “tell you what though, why don't you go take a shower, while I remake the bed and get unpacked, and when you get back, we can watch something together.”

Cas hesitated then smiled, before getting out of the chair. When he was out of the room Sam sighed, it really wasn't good for him what he was doing. It wasn't that Sam minded cas being in his room, actually he enjoyed having the company but it felt like the angel was shutting down, and shutting the world out, losing himself in an endless drone of crap tv.

Sam stripped the sheets off the bed and took them to the laundry. Saw the stack of folded towels which probably meant there weren't any in the shower. He wondered off hand if cas had bothered to take any clean clothes with him.

It wasn't so much a thought that had him smiling as he grabbed on of his oldest t-shirts from the back of his dresser, it was too small to be comfortable anymore but he loved it too much to get rid of it,  and a pair of his tighter fitting jeans to take to Cas. It was more, a warm contentment that spread through him, at being able to do something small for him. Something that might not make a difference in the grand scale but let him take care of his friend. Let him help.

He knocked on the door, and heard Cas' voice over the spray of water. He cracked it open a fraction of an inch, “I brought you a towel and some clean clothes.”    
“Thank you,” cas said the words coming out a tired breath rather than his usual growl.

Sam eased the door open a little farther the room was warm and humid. Steam curled out of the glass shower door. He slipped through and put the clothes on the counter, and hung the towel on the hook by the shower door. He was surprised when cas slipped the door open a few inches without cutting off the spray, he leaned against the tiled wall and smiled. “You didn't have to –“

“It's not a problem, I wanted to,” Sam said quickly.

For a fraction of a second he watched a water drop roll from cas' neck down the hallow of his shoulder. He shied away from the thought that rose unbidden in his mind, how it would be nice to follow that trail with his tongue. It wasn't the kind of thought he should be having, not about his friend, and especially not while Cas was still recovering from what all he'd been through.

The smile faded from cas' lips and his brows pinched in the familiar look of confusion. Sam looked away, “you want me to throw your clothes in the washer with my stuff?” He asked.

“Thank you,” Cas said again, “I'll be out in a few minutes.” With another smile he slid the door closed.

Sam felt weird standing in the bathroom listening to the shower running,  felt weird because it didn't feel weird. It was nice to be comfortable sharing space with someone who wasn't Dean and who didn't expect anything from him.

He gathered up the discarded clothes and checked that he hadn't forgotten anything before closing the door behind him. It wasn't until he was tugging the fitted sheet smooth he realized he was a little nervous. It was a stupid reaction, it was just cas, and they were just going to do what Cas had been doing for a week without him, but he was looking forward to seeing what kinds of things cas had been enjoying, to talking to him about what he liked and didn't like, and what he was going to watch next. It was almost like while he'd been gone, cas had been learning what he enjoyed, and now that he was back, Sam was going to get to actually talk to him about it. He made the rest of the bed quickly. The shower was still running when he walked past to check. So he detoured through the kitchen throwing popcorn in the microwave.

He should ask Dean to join them. He really didn't want to though. It wasn't like they were fighting, or mad at each other. If anything they were better than they had been in years, but he just wanted to spend some time without Dean, they could do this thing together and have something shared that wasn't bad, wasn't painful memories and things that he wished he could take back.

He knew he was over thinking it. He pulled the steaming hot bag out of the microwave and tossed it into a bowl. Not bothering to open it yet. It'd just get cold the second the bag was opened. He had just sat the  bowl down on the dresser when the door opened. Cas closed the door behind him. Sam couldn't stop the smile the broke across his face. Cas was barefoot, the pants fit his waist but almost completely covered his feet. The shirt fit him like a second skin, showing that under the business suit and coat he actually wasn't as wiry as he seemed. His dark hair was a wet mess, like the towel had never made it that far. He was adorable. The way a stray puppy was adorable. The way a confused kid was adorable.

There was a second when Cas looked at him from across the room, then looked down, at himself, “the pants are too long.” he said, like it was something he just noticed.

“I can fix that.” Sam said, walking across the room and kneeling down on the floor in front of him. It was weird for a fraction of a second then he tugged Cas' foot onto his thigh and rolled up the bottom of the pant's legs until it fell at his ankle instead of over his foot. The second followed. “better?” He asked looking up. It was an awkward, vulnerable feeling position. Cas smiled happily though, “much.” he said softly. Offering Sam his hand to help him up off the floor.

As soon as he was on his feet Sam let go, “so what do you want to watch?” He asked finally tearing open the bag of popcorn.  
The discussion on what to watch was over pretty quickly. Cas was already in the middle of a movie. It didn't matter. Sam lay back on the bed and sat the popcorn between them when cas took the other side rather than returning to the chair.

At some point the popcorn was finished and the bowl found it's way to the chair. When cas returned to the bed the distance was closed until his hip was pressed close against Sam's. They talked over the scenes, until the movie was forgotten.

Cas reached out and brushed the hair out of Sam's face. His finger's lingering on his cheek. His thumb trailed lightly over Sam's cheek bone. He pulled his hand away like he hadn't realized what he was doing. The silence between them grew thick, Sam watched Cas, Cas watched the movie, his eyes made aborted attempts to drift to sam but Cas pulled them back to the screen every time.

Sam felt the sickening sensation of falling. Even as his chest was tight with unexpected joy. He turned back to the movie. Moved his leg closer to the angel so they were touching from ankle to hip. His hand rested on his own stomach and he fought the urge to reach for Cas'.

He wasn't sure how to react, wasn't even sure what he wanted. He was afraid that what he was feeling was just affection twisted by his own sick mind.  That maybe it wasn't as real as it felt.

Cas turned toward him abruptly his face inches from Sam's. Sam found himself caught in the oceanic blue of his eyes, Cas whispered his name softly, his lips parted in a surprised yet hungry look. Sam wanted to kiss him. Wanted to kiss the confusion off his face, wanted to taste the salt on his breath, wanted to take his hand and hold it captive.

He wanted so badly to deserve it, to have the courage to reach out for it. He looked away, his turn to not look at the man next to him. Fingertips slid across his forearm, trailed over his wrist and came to rest interlocked with his own.

He looked up and saw a soft pleased smile on Cas' lips. Felt the soft squeeze against his hand and squeezed back. Relaxed against the head of the bed and tried not to think about it too much. Tried not to think himself out of enjoying the moment. If it was all he ever got, he'd be content with it.  

Cas was talking again, it took the words a minute to sink in. He was trying to talk about the movie. “i'm sorry I missed it.” Sam said blushing too pink. It hit him hard to realize he was blushing, heat flaming under his skin. He was too old to be blushing, too old to be this nervous over something as innocent as holding hands. It didn't matter. The heat still was humming beneath his skin and he was still holding his breath waiting for Cas to pull away.

This time when Cas' free hand came up to stroke through Sam's hair, he let his eyes drift closed and enjoy the moment. When he opened them again, Cas was staring at him, his lips inches from Sam's.

“Cas,” Sam's voice came out soft and small. Lost sounding to his own ears, “don't do it if you don't mean it.”

Cas hesitated, then pulled back slightly, when Sam tried to pull his hand free of the angel's grip he refused to let it go. Instead pulling it up to look closely at their interlocked fingers. Like the secrets to the universe could be found where their skin met. “When metatron gave me his knowledge of books, there were a lot of romance novels, a lot of books on human sexuality, and psychology, and well everything really,” he sighed softly, “when humans talk about love and chemistry it's so symbolic, they use poetry or imagery or something.” He looked back at Sam. “I have this image described in a thousand books, by a thousand different writers, and not one of them made me understand how it would feel just to hold your hand.”

“You're one of my best friends”

“Yes,” cas interrupted him, his lips a breath away. Like they weren't dancing on the razor edge of changing everything between them forever. His thumb trailed over Sam's bottom lip, and he met his eyes in a challenge. “I have had sex.” Cas said, “I was married as Emmanuel. I have had friends.” his hand moved back to his side, “no one has ever meant as much to me as you do.”

It was a heartbeat between them. Then their lips met, the briefest softest of touches. Less a kiss than a soft touch. Sam pulled back, his eyes closed against the sudden painful jolt of knowledge. He'd screwed up again. The next time something decided to come after him, it'd be Cas he'd be putting in danger. His heart clenched at the thought.  
“Sam,” Cas voice was gentle, “tell me what's wrong.”

Sam's eyes opened, saw the concern there and laughed, it was a bitter sound to his own ears, then his voice dropped the feeling of awe washing over him and washing away the fear for a moment, “I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered, “I didn't mean for it to happen.”  
Cas's breath hissed between his lips and Sam found himself being kissed. His head thrown back in surprise as Cas' lips worked their own magic. Teasing and coaxing until Sam was kissing back, their hands gripped together in a type of crushing desperation nether  noticed.

Slowly it changed from a desperation to something more gentle, a soft exploration of each other's mouths as Sam tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened.  
When the world bleed back into their awareness the movie was over. They lay staring at each other. The unspoken question hanging between them. What next?  
It wasn't like Sam didn't know what he was doing, he wasn't exactly a virgin, but there was a hesitation to go farther. He wanted it. Wanted to worship his angel. The thought made his heart beat a little faster in his chest. He was good at sex, demanding and in control, but he'd always left his lover's more than satisfied so why was it now, lying in his own bed, with their declarations of new found feelings between them did he feel overwhelmed and shy. Not ready to take the next step. The one he'd had no problem with getting to with a random girl he met in a diner.

The words drifted along his subconscious, because it's cas. Of course it was. He wanted it to be done right, wanted it to be deserving of what Cas truly was. Not the human curled up beside him, but the last good angel. He ached with the knowledge Cas had chosen him. Cas loved him. Cas' whose first words to him had been a painful reminder of what had been done to him, was now lying in his bed, their legs tangled together with his shower wet hair soaking into Sam's pillow. It was too much. Too unbelievable.  
He wanted it to be not just good, he wanted them to go slow. To feel it out rather than rush in and risk losing it.

  
“Sam,” Cas whispered his name pressed his lips against the pulse in Sam's neck and kissed softly. Stubble scratching the sensitive skin there and sending chills down his back.

“Wait,” sam whispered, pulling back.

“What's wrong?” Cas asked his voice taking on a slightly hurt tone.

“Nothing.” Sam said softly, “Just let's take this slow, do it right.”

“There's a right way?” Cas whispered, “Most people just do it.”

“This time, with us, there's a right way.” sam said gently, “let me take you out, let me take care of you, lets just take our time and enjoy it, because I kind of hope this is my last first time.”

Cas smiled, the grin made his face almost glow. He looked happy and at peace and Sam found himself kissing him again, wanting to taste that smile, wanting to memorize not just the look of it, but the feel and taste of it as well. So he could keep it with him forever and know that he was the one that put it there.


	2. sex and romance

Sam fell onto his bed, wrapping his body around his angel. Cas kissed the top of his head and hugged him, “good trip?” Sam shrugged, breathing in the fabric softener and shampoo smell of Cas. It was nice to have someone to come home to. It'd been nice to steal kisses with Cas pressed against the wall, both listening for a sign Dean was coming. It wasn't like they were hiding it from Dean.

Dean just didn't need to know yet. It was just a few kisses. Sam's hand lingered on Cas' waist a moment longer before pulling away. The dazed look in his eyes made Sam want to kiss him all over again. He wanted to keep that look on his face as much as possible. Sam let his hands wander around Cas' back pulling him closer. He imagined what it would have been like before when Cas had wings, wondered if he could have felt them. His hand trailed up Cas' spine feeling for some way it was different, for some sign that he was more than just the scruffy human wearing one of Dean's sweaters and a pair of jeans that were rolled up to keep him from stepping on the heels. It was probably worse how good he looked in Dean's clothes. They fit him a little better than Sam's did. Soft worn cotton, that was as familiar to Sam as the freckles on his brother's face was pushed up out of the way so he could feel more fo the warm skin beneath his hands. Cas was beautiful, adorable, he looked lost and confused most of the time, but he was powerful. Even like this sam knew how much power he truly possessed, knew he could do so much more if he choose, Cas had been god, for just a little while. The thought made him weak in the knees how weird it was to think the creature currently letting him run his hands over his skin had been, at least for a while, the most powerful creature in the world. He could have killed Sam with a thought. Sam knew that kind of power. And yet, he could feel the hitch in the angel's breath as he kissed him. Could feel the way he pressed into Sam's hands like he was trying to feel more of his touch. It was a breathtaking experience.

He forced himself to let go, and walk away, back to the research that he should have been working on. Cas followed taking his place in the closet chair. They both looked up when Dean came in. They shared a guilty look afraid he'd caught them in the hall. Dean put down the coffee cup he'd been carrying. “Morning,” he grumbled running a hand through his sleep styled hair.

Sam cleared his throat, “We were going to go out, maybe catch a movie or something.”

Dean looked up at him, a piercing look that made Sam fidget in his seat, wondering if Dean had caught them in the all. “Pie Sam,” he said then looked at cas, “Don't let him forget this time.”

“Of course,” Cas said softly.

“Do you want to come with us?” Sam asked looking not at Dean but at the book he was pretending to read.

Dean shook his head, “I'm going back to bed.” There was no more explanation before he pushed his chair away from the table and disappeared back to his room. Cas hand was on the table within reach. Sam ran his fingertips along the side of his hand, barely brushing against it, before he grabbed Cas' hand and held it. They hadn't talked about it, not really, but what was about to happen hung between them in the air.

Outside the bunker it was warm, orange leaves coated the road leading out. It was a clear day despite the slight chill in the air.

“Bet you miss being able to just zap wherever you wanted.” Sam said softly, not looking up from the road.

“Yes,” Cas agreed, “but there are benefits to taking the slow way.”

“Like what?” Sam asked, checking the speedometer, was still just under the legal limit.

“Driving means we can spend more time together.” he said softly, “I like that.”

Sam smiled risked a glance to the side to see the soft smile on Cas' face. He was looking out the window, up at the sky. Sam didn't say anything at the homesick look on his face. Instead he reached out and found his hand, lifting it to kiss his palm. “I'm glad you're here with me.” he said.

  
“I'm glad I’m with you.” Cas agreed and slid closer until his knee pressed against Sam's leg. Sam threw his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close, driving with one hand on the wheel and the other holding Cas' hand.

They skipped getting food. Instead going to the bookstore next to the movie theater, skimming the titles in the used books section. Cas came to him carrying a stack of books. Sam looked at him curious when Cas sat down on the floor and started skimming the books.

“What's that?”

“Books about Angel's and heaven.” Cas said softly, “I want to see what they say, not hunters, but just regular people that don't know what's happened in heaven and with the angel's.”

Sam didn’t' have anything to say instead joined him on the floor with the stack of books. It was different then reading the dry musty books from the bunkers library. These weren't a how to on killing things, weren't research or cases it was just people. Recounting miracles in their lives.

“These don't sound like Angel's.” Cas whispered after a while, “we were never this good.”

“well, maybe some are.” Sam said softly, turning the book to show Cas a sketch. A man with a long coat, color indistinct in the charcoal gray of the sketch. A look of pained compassion on his face and his hand caressing the head of a bawling child.

“Looks a little like you.” Sam said thoughtfully handing over the book. Cas put it back on the stack of books. The stack ended up being put back on the shelve. Expect the one with the sketch. That one Sam bought, he knew it was Cas. That someone had caught his angel doing something good for no reason other than he could. Outside the theater they didn't touch, didn't hold hands. Sam paid without looking to see if Cas was following him. They divided the tickets and headed inside cas sat next to him, as soon as the lights dimmed his hand found it's way into Sam's. Quietly tracing patterns on his palm. Sam was concentrating on the precise movements so hard he missed the first few minutes of the movie. The lazy stroke of Cas' fingers felt deliberate.

He leaned close during a quiet moment, “what are you doing?” He asked squeezing Cas' trapped fingers.

Cas shrugged and didn't answer. They were alone in the theater, it was pointless to whisper, but they found the dark encouraged it. Sam wasn't expecting it when Cas kissed him, first his cheek, then his jaw, and finally tugging Sam close enough to kiss his lips. His lips held the same popcorn salt taste of the first kiss and Sam wanted more of it.. Groaned into the reminder that this was his, and he was on a date with the angel. And it wasn't just a passing fling. It was cas. It was potentially a relationship. And definitely not a stolen night n a cheap motel room, or the back of his brother's car, or in an apartment he'd never see again. When the movie was over they'd be going home, to the place they shared, to the space that was theirs.

He was going to be the first man the angel ever slept with. The thought made him breathless and light headed and it was too good to be true. He pulled a little harder until cas was as close as the chair arm would let him get. It wasn't enough, and it was overwhelmingly too much at the same time. Eventually the movie broke through and they turned back to watch it.

Sam's fingers roamed over cas' arm and down his side before trailing back up. It was easy to fall into it, easy to just sit in the dark and feel the warmth of the angel beside him. The movie ended and it was so easy to stay through the credits kissing in the dim light.

The drive home was spent in almost complete silence. The radio was turned on, to a setting low enough Sam wasn't sure Dean had ever found it. They parted at the door, fingers lingering just a moment longer before they separated. Sam leading the way into the bunker calling for Dean with the grocery store freezer section pie in one hand.  
Dean was in his room music up in his headphones. Sam closed the door behind him, and made his way to his room. Cas was already there. “Hi,” he said when Sam closed the door.

“Hi,” Sam echoed, his voice calm despite how badly his nerves were rattled. It wasn't like they'd talked about after their date, what would happen. They'd been sharing his room for weeks even before they'd started kissing, this felt different though, felt like they were about to do more. He wiped his hands on his jeans, his heart thumping widly in his chest. It was the right time. And he was acting like a nervous virgin. It was stupid because he wasn't. God he wasn't. He didn't sleep around as much as Dean ddi, but it wasn't like he'd never had sex. It wasn't like he didn't normally just dive in and go for it when it was a sure thing that he wanted. But it was cas. And he wanted to do ti right, wanted to make it good. Wanted so much more than what he normally had. He wanted to show his angel how much he loved him, how much it meant that he was willing to overlook everything that Sam had done, and everything that he was.

Cas moved to meet him, they were tangled around each other. Sam pulling cas up tight against him and kissing him deeply. The bed was steps away, but it might have been miles. When the kiss mellowed into something softer, teasing instead of desperate they stepped a fraction of an inch apart. “So we're really going to do this?” Sam asked cautiously.

“Only if you want to.” Cas said. He looked like he wanted to say more, looked half afraid Sam was going to back out, which struck Sam as particularly riduculous he wanted very few things for himself. Cas was the top of the list.

He took off his shirt and threw it onto the dresser. When he looked up cas was still watching him, though he had stretched out on the bed, his shirt bunched up to show the hint of black ink across his ribs. Sam wanted his mouth on that spot, knew it was the warding that kept cas hidden, and kept them safe from the angel's that would try to track him down. He wanted to taste the ink to see if it tasted different from the rest of his angel's skin. Cas let him push up the shirt let his lips linger tenderly over the skin. For a while Sam had forgotten Cas was still an angel still stronger than he was. He remembered when Cas moved him, rolled them so he was on top his lips pressing into Sam's hungrily. He broke the kiss and let his lips trail down the side of Sam's neck. There was only a slight hesitation before Sam was arching up into the hand that was rubbing against his crotch, layers of denim and cotton keeping him from feeling Cas' touch on his over heated skin.

Cas pulled back giving him a look that held promise for something wicked. Sam realized half a moment later they'd never talked about how they were going to do this, about who would do what, or what. Cas stopped, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Sam said too quickly, “just not sure how we're going to do this.”

Cas seemed to think about it, then he said, “I imagine it's similar to with women,”

“No, not that part,” sam said softly, “I meant how are we going to actually do it when we get there.”

“How would you like to?” Cas asked curious and open, and it was cas, but the words wouldn't come.

“I don't know.” he said softly. It didn't matter as long as he could feel the angel touching him again. Cas wasn't though, he was sitting up thoughtfully, his eyes skimming over Sam's skin, drinking him in like he was starved. “what about you?” Sam asked softly.

Cas hand stroked gently through his hair like he couldn't get enough of the feel of it. He kissed Sam again, “I want to show you how much you mean to me.” he whispered, “I want to make every painful thought you've ever had a distant memory...”

“Cas..” Sam's attempt to derail the conversation by kissing him had him pinned down under the angel.

“No,” Cas said softly, “just relax, and let me take care of you. Let me make love to you.” The words should have made him cringe, could imagine dean's face if he had heard they'd used those words to describe what they were doing, but god he wanted it. He wanted it to be different from the ones that he'd been with to scratch the itch, the need to connect with someone. Those had been, fast and rough, giving but still selfish. He wasn't even sure when the last time he'd done something that could even be considered making love and not just sex or fucking.

Cas' hands roamed over his skin a soft exploring caress. Sam relaxed into the touch. Some how he ended up with their hands holding while Cas kissed whatever exposed skin he could reach. "Will you take these off?" Cas asked softly tugging at Sam's belt loop.

Sam stripped down hesitantly, the adoration on the Angel's face made him fidget uncomfortably under the weight of his stare. "What?"

"You're beautiful." Cas said softly, "I mean you'd have to be to be good enough for the arch angel's. Dean is beautiful in his own right, but you." his words faltered, the look on his face was practically worshipful as he moved off the bed.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked feeling exposed, and silly, and scared to death Cas was about to walk out the door and leave him alone.

"Do you trust me?" Cas asked, "I mean I understand if you don't, the things I've done, especially to you, I know I have no right to ask, but do you?"

"You know I do," Sam said softly. The door clicked locked, a sound both exciting and terrifying. Cas removed the jeans and underwear he was wearing at the same time, folded them up and put them on the dresser, before he rejoined Sam on the bed. "You need a bigger bed." he whispered, managed to settle somewhat between Sam's thighs. He pressed a stubble rough kiss against Sam's thigh sending a shiver up his spine. His hand wrapped lightly around Sam's cock and gave an experimental squeeze that had Sam thrusting slightly into his grip.

"I've never done this to someone else," Cas admitted.

Sam grabbed his hand, "it's okay, I can show you." He whispered and used Cas' hand to set his own achingly slow pace. There was a noise low in the back of Cas' throat a fraction of a second before the head of Sam's cock slipped into the warmth of his mouth. Sam's head fell back against the head of the bed. Too caught up in the unexpected amazingness of it. A soft pulling drag of Cas sucking on him had him groaning in pleasure fighting to hold still and not thrust into his throat. letting the angel set his own pace while he figured it out. Cas was sucking his cock. The knowledge knocked the air out of his lungs. Cas had his mouth wrapped around Sam's dick because he wanted to. He let his hand tangle in the short dark hair. Cas met his eyes and pulled off him, glancing down at his cock for a second before licking up the vein on the underside. dragging clear fluid from the tip before swiping it away with his tongue.

Cas leaned onto his heels grabbed Sam's thighs and pushed them up and apart. Sam let him, too surprised to resist when the mouth that had been sucking him off instead caught the fullness of his balls and sucked those instead. the next instant he felt the cool line of cas' spit trailing down between his legs. Cas' tongue followed the trail.  
His ability to think stuttered to a stop, Cas was licking his ass. It was something that had never happened to him before, and it was completely unexpectedly nice. He let his legs fall wider apart, giving the angel more room to work. Each careful movement was driving him crazy. Cas was holding his legs up easily, like it took no effort and he could just stay there indefinitely with his tongue steadily working its way deeper into Sam's body.

Cas pulled back eventually, the soft laps of his tongue replaced with the solid stroking of a finger tracing around the muscle threatening to press inside. "Are you okay?" Cas asked, and Sam realized he had been holding his breath.

  
"I'm good," Sam managed to whisper, his breath coming out hard and fast. "Just do it, you won't break me." it came out in a rough self depreciating desperation.  
Cas moved back onto his heels letting Sam's legs go, letting them fall back to the more comfortable position on the bed.

  
"I won't break you?" Cas repeated thoughtfully. hands roamed down Sam's thighs, coming up to stroke across the tensed muscles in his stomach. "I wasn't worried about breaking you." Cas whispered softly, "maybe I should have been." he whispered, moving off the bed and away from Sam.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, not disguising the panic in his voice. Cas couldn't leave not like that, when they were in the middle of the foreplay that was suppose to lead to sex, not cas walking out on him, not Cas giving up on him before they even started. "I'm sorry," the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, on the edge of panic.

Cas moved quick. one second he was standing at the end of Sam's bed looking at him like he'd never really seen him before, and the next he was kissing Sam, leaning over the bed at an angle the forced Sam to tilt his head back to meet his lips. "Stop apologizing to me," Cas growled. "I'm going to find something to use as lube other than my spit." Cas whispered, "I'm not going to 'just do' anything. Not with you and not to you." He sounded pissed off, a dangerous edge to his voice that was completely out of place with the gentle way his hand was roaming over Sam's face. "You're too important, for me to hurt you just because you think it won't break you." He kissed sam again, "It's going to feel good for both of us, or I'm not doing it." He pulled back again this time, when he moved Sam watched him go without saying anything.  
Sam stayed where he was, in stunned silence while cas tugged on his pants. "I'll be back, stay there."

"Wait," Sam said, his brain finally catching up to the situation, "top of the dresser, in the back corner."

Cas reached the box there searching until he found the bottle of perfumed oil. He knew what it was immediately.

"That's holy oil." He said looking at Sam in surprise.

"It will work right?" Sam asked.

"You realize this kind of stuff was used to anoint kings?" Cas asked softly, smiling too happily, "It's extremely rare." He moved to the bed still carrying the jar. The look on his face had Sam squirming. It was a look that promised trouble. A smirk that would have looked more in place on Gabriel's face than Castiel's. "Will you roll over for me?" Cas whispered, "get on your knees?"

  
Sam complied, his face flushing scarlet, he'd kind of expected the first time to be face to face, even though he knew it'd probably be easier with him on his knees. Cas moved around the bed, his hand stroked down Sam's spine and back up to tangle in his hair, pulling till Sam's head tipped back, exposing the line of his throat.  
"holy oil, was used to trap angel's, but also to mark a person as holy, as a king, or a prophet, or a messiah." Sam's eyes drifted closed, there was definitely some blasphemy in what he had asked, but it was Cas, if he'd been offended he wasn't saying anything. "Open your eyes," Cas whispered. Sam opened them long enough to see the amber oil dripping from the stone jar, it soaked into his hair, and ran down his jaw in a slick line. It felt weird, but he held Cas' eyes as the angel tipped the jar back up, careful not to spill more.

  
Cas' fingers followed the line, rubbing it into Sam's skin. "You saved the world," he whispered, "you're more than they'll ever know, but I know what you are." He smiled kissing Sam's lips. "My father abandoned me, you never have."

  
Sam didn't know what to say to it, the words stolen from his mouth by Cas' lips. the slick hand found it's way to Sam's cock stroking a couple times before Cas pulled away. a click of stone against wood and then Sam felt his hand back tracing the line down his ass fingertips teasing, smearing sacred oil across him, until Cas whispered something, the words not in any of the languages Sam knew.

Cas pushed a slick wet finger into Sam making his head drop to his elbow, he couldn't breath, couldn't think it was so much better than he expected, expected it to hurt and to stretch and burn and to feel the scrape of Cas' blunt human fingernails inside him. Instead it felt good,a smooth easy opening around the finger. Just one he could tell, he could feel every bit of it inside him, and it wasn't the worst thing he'd ever felt. Cas shifted his angle and started moving his hand in short easy thrusts while seeking out his prostate.  
Sam closed his eyes, ignored the way he felt vulnerable and exposed, and completely on display to cas. he did all he could to focus instead on how good it felt. "You can give me more." he whispered.

"Are you sure?" Cas asked carefully as his thumb ran along the rim where his finger was sill moving back and forth inside Sam.

Sam nodded and the finger pulled completely out of him, this time when it slipped back inside Sam felt the slight stretch of a second finger. Felt the gentle way cas moved slowly trying to coax his body to open up. Sam let himself adjust to the feeling, rocking back to try and help cas get him ready. He was really going to do it. He was going to let an angel inside his body, let it use him, the thought was out of place and twisted and sent a fresh burst of heated embarrassment through him, it was cas. it was just Cas, and Cas was more than an Angel. Cas was his friend first, and had kind of been something more the past few weeks, and cas would never take what he wasn't willing to give.  
Cas would never hurt him, or force him, or...

"Sam," Cas whispered, "You've got to relax." Sam realized Cas had stopped the soft rocking of his fingers. instead they were still his thumb teased at the tense muscle. until Sam willed himself to relax. he tilted his hips slightly trying to regain the pleasurable feeling he'd been given before his thoughts got too loud for him to enjoy it.  
Sam heard the sounds he was making, the soft hitches of his breath, the desperate moans when Cas wrapped an oil slick hand around his cock and stroked painfully slowly from root to tip and back down again.

Cas' hands left him and in the next heartbeat Sam was on his back, the bed groaned under the sudden movement and he stared up at Cas. The fingers slid back into him, and he spread his legs wider, eyes falling closed. a third joined, sliding in easier than he expected, but too tight for Cas to spread them out. "Fuck, Cas. I'm good." He gasped, "If you don't stop I'm going to cum."

  
Cas eased his hand away, slicked his cock holding Sam's gaze. He leg his hands fall onto Sam's thighs, leaving a wet oil shiny smear through the coarse hair there. Sam was going to take a shower as soon as this was over. The smell of the spicy oil had him floating, it was such a good, comforting smell. "Are you sure you're ready?" Cas asked. the slick tip of his cock pressed against Sam rubbing small teasing circles.

Sam grabbed his hand, kissed the slick palm and nodded thrusting up just a little off the bed to encourage the slick tip to slide in just a little farther. Cas leaned over him, one hand next to Sam's shoulder to brace himself the other guiding his cock between Sam's spread legs. Cas' lips were a sweet distraction as he pushed forward his cock slipping slowly into Sam until they lay flush together. Cas rested his forehead against Sam's his breath coming out like he'd ran a marathon instead of just slid his dick into Sam's ass.  
It was an eternity later before either of them moved. Cas rolled his hips forward in slow gentle rocks, slipping out only centimeters before sliding back in all the way. Sam matched the easy rhythm. so different from the way he was normally. He fought not to tell cas to hurry up and fuck him, fought to just relax and enjoy the pleasant slide of Cas in and out, stretching him open on each thrust. Sending chills and shudders of need through him. Cas didn't claw at him, or bite, or hold him down. Cas wasn't rough the way Sam himself normally was. He was careful, watching Sam's face for each fractional sign of pleasure or discomfort and continually readjusting to make it better. to push Sam a little closer to the edge of his control.

"You feel amazing." Cas whispered, punctuating the words with another lazy thrust, his fingers came up to stroke around Sam's nipple and he expected a pinch or tug anything but the slow gentle way cas rolled his thumb over the nub, massaging the hardened point. Cas leaned to capture it in his mouth. The teeth Sam expected to feel never came, just a soft wet suckle before Cas moved to the other side.

"Fuck, cas," he groaned pulling him closer. Cas' free hand found the wet nipple his mouth had left and he worked them both. one with gentle swipes of his tongue between soft suction pulls with his mouth. The other with gentle caresses. The slow roll of his hips had gotten easier for Sam to follow, for his body to let the pressing girth slide in and out of him without resistance. Pleasure started slow and built steadily. His hands gripped the angels' shoulder's while he bit his lip and tried to keep from begging for him to do it harder, or faster, or anything just more than the tortuously slow build.

"You look like art." Cas whispered, "like you should be worshiped and adored, too beautiful for anyone to touch." He whispered the words against Sam's neck the stubble scrapping the sensitive skin there with his words. There was no embarrassment at the words just a low desperate noise that broke from his lungs.

Cas stopped moving just a fraction of a second, his breath coming out hot and fast, he rolled his hips again, his face twisting in a look of pleasure he stopped moving again, his moan was the finishing touch, Sam was caught completely off guard by the intensity of the orgasm. not fast and hard, the way it was when he pounded into a willing body, but drawn out, each burst a lifetime in itself, his body milked of cum by the hard flesh holding him open. He lost himself in the steady pulse of his orgasm, in the words of encouragement Cas was whispering against his skin, against the soft way his thumb was still stroking at Sam's nipple. it was too much, and unending, and left him feeling completely drained.

  
Cas lay on top of him, breathing hard against his skin. Sam could feel his own racing pulse against his skin. When he felt able to think again, Sam whispered, "Your turn."

Cas laughed, the sound rumbling through Sam's skin, "You have no idea what that was like?" Cas raised up just enough to look down at Sam, "watching you, feeling you.." he let it trail away. "no one could see you do that and be unaffected, and I was fighting for control before."

Sam pulled him closer, pressing a breathless tired kiss against his forehead. "shower?" He whispered softly.  The rough kiss against his throat was followed by one to his lips and then cas was moving. slipping out of him and leaving a wet trail down his thigh. "Feels weird." Sam whispered, smiling despite himself, floating on the post sex bliss.  
It should have been awkward, should have been embarrassing having to wipe away the evidence dripping down his leg and coating his stomach. Instead he felt relaxed, happier than he'd been in a while. Cas was starting to pull on his dirty clothes, to go to the shower.

Sam grabbed his arm, stopping him in one moment, pushing him back against the wall and kissing him in the next. it was a rough, possessive kiss. the kind that had led to more encounters than it followed, but the hands wrapping around his back and holding him closer felt right. The way Cas tilted his head just enough to make it easy for him, felt perfect. He let Cas go, let him step out of his arms and grabbed his own clothes. the smell of the oil permeated the room. he was going to have to let the damn place air out.

"Guess I should invest in some lube," he said off handed looking at the mess of oil and cum on his sheets.

Cas smiled at him, "I liked the oil, it looks good on your skin." He looked thoughtful "Romans used olive oil. Maybe we could try that next time if there's some in the kitchen."

"Or maybe, we could buy actual lube." Sam said before breaking into a smile he couldn't stop.


	3. Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because I loved this part and I wanted to keep it even if it was irrelevant to the story.

Sam was still drying his hair when he walked into the library. Dean pulled his headphones out and looked up at him, a glare on his face.

  
"What?" Sam asked.

"What?" Dean echoed, "Cas Sam, that's what."

"Oh," Sam shifted his weight to the other food hiding his sudden nerves by sitting down across from Dean, "So..., what about Cas?"

"Dude, your goddamn bedroom isn't soundproof." He stood up abruptly eyes on the doorway, Sam looked over his shoulder, smiled at the confused look on his angel's face. The way his hair was still wet, and the dark water spots on the shirt he was wearing.

"I've got to head to the store." Dean said.

"For what?" Cas asked.

"Lube," Dean said, "you're not fucking my brother without it again." He closed his eyes, a pained look crossing his face, "and whiskey because I am way too sober for this crap." He headed toward the garage, but stopped long enough to yell over his shoulder, "and stay out of the kitchen."

When he'd been gone long enough, Sam smirked, and stood up reaching for Cas hand, "come on."

"Where?" Cas asked hesitantly.

"Dean's room. He said stay out of the kitchen. He didn't say anything about his room."

**Author's Note:**

> Since this isn't the ship I normally write but I'm probably going to do more with it do you want to help me out?   
> What did you like about it?  
> What was out of character or didn't flow smoothly?  
> What would you have rather seen done differently?   
> basically any input is appreciated.   
> Thank you. -T.J.


End file.
